“You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!”
I groan when I read this verse; it drudges up memories of my gnat-straining moments. One of sexual sin’s insidious effects is that it makes a man empty, miserable, critical, and bitter. Such a man is prone to lashing out at others to avoid feeling and facing his inner condition, especially those closest to him.
Thus, the sexual addict becomes a Pharisee.
When I was in bondage to lust, I often criticized my wife for the gnats in her life as I gorged on the camels of my adultery and porn addiction. I wish that someone would have sat me down and said “Listen! Your sins of pride and sexual immorality have corrupted you, and you’re taking it out on your wife, the woman God has given you for a life partner. You’re killing her with your critical, ugly, judging demeanor.”
Jesus’ stinging words in Matthew 23:25 provide a picture of the heart of a Pharisee:
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self–indulgence.”
To cover up my tracks, I focused on looking good on the outside; especially to those in the church. Like the Pharisees of Jesus’ day, I had plenty of Bible knowledge, and could dispense my wisdom at the right moment. My wife told me “she had me up on a pedestal,” so my act worked… until my hypocrisy was exposed.
I was all about me; I indulged in what I wanted, when I wanted it. If my wife wouldn’t have sex with me, I took matters into my own hands. The downside is that self-indulgence breeds bondage to the thing we give ourselves to; I was neck deep in lust and pride.
Isn’t pride often lurking behind the corner of every sin? The Pharisees were incensed when Jesus confronted them for being “whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside are full of dead man’s bones and all uncleanness” (Matthew 23:27). But such words were a measure of God’s grace to turn them away from their sin before it was too late, if only they would face “the casket within.”
Jesus may have summed up the best way to measure whether a man is in Pharisee-mode when he said “but I know you, that you do not have the love of God in yourselves.” It’s hard to get off on judging and tearing others apart when our chief motive is to love and build them up.
Therefore encourage one another and ild up one another, just as you also are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Fortunately, God is in the radical transformation business. His Word provides abundant hope to all who have had enough of their misery and pride. The man the Lord used to pen much of the New Testament, the Apostle Paul, was on the A-Team of the Pharisees; his hatred for those who loved the Lord was intense. All it took to turn his life around was one encounter with Jesus to strip Paul of his self-righteousness—and set him on fire for God.
The two questions Paul asked the Lord in his initial encounter, “Who are you, Lord, and what do you want me to do?” are a confession that Paul didn’t know God like he thought he did… and reveal a new-found humility.
Freedom from self-righteousness begins with awareness that our life is a train wreck. This is a great place to be, as it serves as a catalyst to launch us on an all-out search for God. Such a journey is not about obtaining knowledge about God (which the Pharisees had) but of Him. It is in His presence where we discover true joy, peace, love, and contentment, all of which outweigh the temporary pleasures of sexual sin and self-indugence.
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
Charles Spurgeon, one of the most respected English preachers of the 19th century, used to take visitors to a basement room in the church and proclaim “Here is the powerhouse of this church.”
We’re putting together a ladies prayer group that would pray together by phone. If you’re interested in getting involved with the powerhouse of this ministry, please email me.
The Road to Grace
The Road to Grace; Finding True Freedom from the Bondage of Sexual Addiction is Mike Genung’s book on breaking free from sexual idolatry.
Topics covered include:
- Biblical tools for overcoming sexual temptation.
- Healing from shame.
- How to stop a masturbation habit.
- Dealing with the core issues that drive sexual sin.
- Understanding and receiving the love of God in the heart.
- Healing for Wives
- How to restore a marriage that’s been scarred by sexual sin.
The Road to Grace is used in support groups, and provides plenty of material for discussion.
For more information and to purchase, visit www.roadtograce.net
Healing a Broken Marriage
www.blazinggrace.org – Blazing Grace home page
www.blazinggrace.org/forums/ – a community for those who struggle with sexual sin and their spouses.
www.roadtograce.net – Site for Mike Genung’s book The Road to Grace; Finding True Freedom from the Bondage of Sex Addiction.
www.2chronicles714.net – Site that focuses on putting 2nd Chronicles 7:14 into action for individuals and churches.
“Come to Me, allwho are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Blazing Grace’s purpose is to minister to the sexually broken and equip the church to effectively deal with the porn epidemic.
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May God’s grace abound to you.
©2006-2012 by Mike Genung. All Rights Reserved. The material in this newsletter may be reprinted for ministry purposes free of charge, as long as a link to www.roadtograce.net is included. No reprints allowed without written permission.