Who’s the Enemy?
“Satan is your enemy. Your spouse is not your enemy.”
Every marriage is in a spiritual battle. Satan has his guns pointed at both of you, and will do everything in his power to tear your relationship apart, rupture your family, and wound your children with the effects of divorce.
Here are some of his methods:
- Seducing and enslaving the husband to sexual sin.
- Attacking the husband with thoughts such as “There’s no hope I can break free,” “If others really knew me they couldn’t accept or love me,” “I dare not tell my wife; if I do she’ll divorce me,” “Lust is my only source of comfort and love,” and “There’s no one I can talk to,” among others. His goal is to keep the husband stuck in lust, fear, shame, self-absorption, hopelessness, and resentment.
- He goes after the wife with “If I would have only (fill the in blank) he wouldn’t use porn,” “I wasn’t enough for him,” “I can’t compete with the women in those pictures,” “My husband doesn’t want to break free from sexual sin; maybe he never will,” along with the fear of divorce and a future as a single mother. He does everything he can to keep the wife bound in anger, hurt, discouragement, fear, and suspicion.
- He wants to keep you fighting your spouse. He tries to convince the husband that his wife is against him, rejects him, and is his enemy. He tries to convince the wife that her husband loves porn more than her, there is no hope, and her husband is an enemy who can never be trusted.
Let’s set the record straight.
Satan is your enemy. Your spouse is not your enemy. They may be blinded by pride, lust, fear, bitterness, discouragement, or struggling to cope with old wounds, and they have the same fallen flesh you do, but your spouse is not your enemy.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
God is infinitely more powerful than Satan; He’s given you all the tools you need to persevere, heal your marriage, and overcome, which include prayer, His word, interceding friends, faith, the body of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit. The keys to accessing and using these tools are humility, brokenness, repentance, obedience to God and His word, and love.
You are not alone. The Creator of the Universe is near, and He wants your marriage and family to heal, succeed, and flourish. You’re not the only one walking this path, and you have abundant hope because God is in the business of resurrection, setting captives free, and making something wonderful from our sin and sorrow (Romans 8:28).
Some of your biggest battles will be against your own weaknesses; releasing pride and choosing humility, doing what God says even when everything inside of you says no, praying when you don’t feel like it, forgiving when you would rather hold onto bitterness, pressing through instead of withdrawing or quitting.
With God’s help, you can overcome the enemy and the battles with your flesh. Your marriage can heal. There is a way through. It’s not hopeless. It may feel hard today, but if you’re willing to continue in the healing process that God has for your marriage, the breakthroughs will come.
Excerpted from Mike Genung’s book, The Road to Grace for Couples; a Workbook for Healing from Porn and Adultery
Photo credit: 38106817