My new book, The Road to Grace, A Workbook for Healing from Porn and Adultery is now available for order. The following is a chapter from the book:
Chapter 5: Putting the Two Sides Together
Let’s return to the vignette from the Introduction.
Husband goes to support group. For what may be the first time in his life, he’s beginning to gain traction and experience freedom from sexual sin. Husband comes home excitedly and tells his wife, “I’ve been … (read more…)
I made a big push to the finish line in December and finally completed the manuscript to the Couples Workbook. It’s off to the editor now; meanwhile the cover is being designed. I should have the books in hand by March 1.
The Road to Grace for Couples; a Workbook for Healing from Porn and Adultery will walk both husband and wife through the process of rebuilding your marriage. Topics include how to talk through and resolve the tough … (read more…)
It’s not that I don’t want to, or that I don’t love the Lord. I don’t take lightly the words I speak to God. If I’m going to tell Him “I surrender all” I want to mean it. To me, “all” means “all”; everything… with no hold barred.
Gulp. That means God could come to me, put His finger on something, say “I want that,” and I release it to Him, no matter what.
I have a hard time singing “I Surrender All” because I know what’s inside of me. I’ve always … (read more…)
There are moments during prayer when it hits me that there’s much more to God than I, the church, pastors, or anyone can get close to understanding.
We’re talking about a Being who made the sun; that massive ball of 10,000 degree fire with a radius of some 700,000 kilometers. The sun is more than 100 times the size of the earth; it’s distance from earth is perfect, so we’re given what we need to grow and survive without being incinerated. That boggles my mind.
He designed the human brain, that complex processing center with 100 billion neurons; each neuron with 1,000 – 10,000 synapses. He designed and gave life to people, animals, and plants.
Then I think of what people say … (read more…)
A Prayer of Power
Ephesians 6:17 calls God’s Word the “sword of the spirit.” To pray in His Word is to pray in the power of the Holy Spirit. Today’s reading is a Scripture–based prayer. Consider offering it to the Lord on a daily basis until you start seeing breakthroughs in your life. Spiritual warfare elements are part of our struggle as our battle is not only against the flesh (Romans 7), but also against … (read more…)
I can agree… somewhat. There are times when I yearn to be challenged or convicted at church in such a way that it will upend the applecart of my comfort zone and force me to a higher level in my walk with God. I don’t want easy answers to life’s problems or a neat and tidy sermon with three application points at the end that is supposed make it look like life will be easy if I just apply those points. I want to see brokenness in our church leaders, and to … (read more…)
Recently, the sickening responses of Job’s three friends stood out. Job has just gone through some of the most horrific losses anyone can endure in rapid fire order, and his friends are accusing him of sin, condemning him, and going off on a theological debate.
It boggles my mind. It’s as if his three friends totally missed the point; they were there for Job, a man in … (read more…)
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender–hearted, forgiving each other,
just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;
for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.James 1:19–20
When a man starts coming off lust, anger is often one of the first emotions that bubbles up. Some of this is the consequence of stuffing his feelings; the soul doesn’t do well when … (read more…)
The avatar of the caller showed a full body figure of a woman in seductive pose and clothing, with an invitation to receive their video call. I knew what would happen if I clicked “accept”: a pornographic video would then load on my screen.
In my weary state I knew what was going on; the timing … (read more…)
But God had me shelve secular music to pave the way for the next step He had in mind – a fast.
The Daniel fast is patterned after the fast Daniel took in Daniel one, where he ate only vegetables, fruits and grains; only foods that came from the ground. No meats, dairy, sugar, bread, or processed foods. He drank only water.
God put it on my heart to start the Daniel fast on April 1, so I did so, for five days.
It was … (read more…)
“Both times I have gone to the Grammys I have witnessed performances I wish I could erase from my memory, and yes, I fast forwarded through several performances this year; but my reason is not because of them, it’s because of me. I have been struggling with being in the world, not of it lately. I have fallen prey to the alluring pull of flesh, pride, and selfish desires quite a bit recently. … I knew that submerging myself into an environment that celebrates … (read more…)
Sometimes I can focus too much at the negative; problems at the office or home, or changes I’d like to see made in the church, people I know, the government, or myself. If I get caught up in all of that for too long, my attitude spirals downward. Feeding on problems or on everything that’s wrong isn’t healthy; we can get so obsessed with the junk in life that it can poison us with a bitter, cynical attitude, plague us with fear and worry, choke our relationships with God and others, and steal our joy
It can also put us in a place of judging others. As I know from experience, that’s a miserable place to be. All we see is the wrong; what … (read more…)
There’s a huge need to help couples to recover from what is an emotionally harsh situation. My marriage was on the ropes for many months after I exposed my adultery to Michelle in 1991; there was plenty of crying, anger, and withdrawal on both sides along the way. By God’s grace, our marriage made it; but there are many others that do not. I hate it when marriages are lost and families are torn apart because of sexual addiction; I believe strongly that God places high value on every marriage (after all, He’s the one … (read more…)
Then God reminded me of endurance:
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
Blessed is the one… who perseveres. … (read more…)
If I were to name a theme verse for me for 2013, Psalms 127:1-2 would be it.
In the last quarter, I spent a lot of time trying different things to get ahead in my job (I’m self-employed, which provides me with the flexibility of time to write). I did a ton of traveling and running to different trade shows. There was little return.
God started bringing verses like Psalms 127:1-2 my way, as well as others like these: … (read more…)
Last night I asked God what I needed to do, and the words “remember from where you have fallen” formed in my mind.
This verse is found in Revelations 2, where Jesus is addressing the church in Ephesus:
But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have … (read more…)
This blog will be more personal in nature. I’ll be writing about the journey of life, what God is teaching me, and, from time to time, opinions on current events. I’ll also be providing updates and news on the ministry, upcoming books, and other events.
100 Days on the Road to Grace, my second book, was released late last month. We also changed the prices so that all books include media mail shipping at no extra cost. The T-shirts include standard USPS shipping too.
I enjoy reading your emails and comments and always do my best to respond to each one. Keep those … (read more…)